21OCT2026
It’s no secret that I really don’t like to have responsibilities. I am not the one to call in when you need someone dependable and always on time and all of that kind of stuff I don’t just shy away from it. More like I sprint away from it.
That being said, I have recently started to work on that. I’m someone who loves a challenge and since I did the Ragnar in 2017, I have wanted to do another. Specifically, I wanted to do a trail run Ragnar. And when they came out with this years shirt for the McDowell Ragnar trail run, I showed a friend the shirt and then we formed a team and now the race is a little under three weeks. I’m the captain.
The part that makes m still trying to grasp is I have to be the one in charge. I need to get myself together. I slack because I’m a slacker, because I’m scared of messing it up for everyone. I surmise it’s because of the responsibility job I once had and then had it pulled out from under me. In fact, I know that’s what the problem is. I don’t want to take it on and be crushed like I was. Guess the Navy still gets my brain after all these years. Been out 21 years and I have avoided it since then.
It started out as I didn’t want to put myself in that position but now that I’m getting older, I find that I’m missing out on some cool thing because I want to do things my way and not be responsible for other things. Amazing that I managed to help raise a child to her 20s now. I didn’t even like the idea of having a dog because, you guessed it, makes me responsible for another soul. Not that I kid it so much anymore. She’s pretty fucking amazing.
Maybe that’s what I need to work on. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable and doing the thing that scares me. I would suggest running in the rain, but, yeah. That’s some cold fucking water falling from the sky. Perhaps running trails when it’s muddy to prepare for this trail race but… the last time I did that was about two weeks before my last Ragnar race and pulled my hamstring – same leg as usual – and then couldn’t run and train for a week plus making training a lot harder.
I have applied for the virtual Aspiring Supervisor Program at work two times since I had to drop it last year due to dad’s passing. I haven’t gotten into it since then. I will keep trying though. Maybe not for a while as I start school in January and will be doing a full load for a while. Until I finish actually. All I need are all of the specific classes for recreation therapy. I’m up for that task.
Anyhow, time to get my ass in gear. And Thomas has made breakfast so I need to eat as well. How do you accept responsibility, dear reader? Full on take on the world attitude or avoid it like the plague like me?
