WOW. That’s a good question for today. The second part of that was, were you scared? What was the outcome? Well, I suppose it’s time that I tell a hard truth, I am a coward. I’m the Libra who hates confrontation so much that I have allowed people to walk all over me and use me as a doormat. However, from time to time, I have stood up and said something.
There are two times that come to mind when I think of this. The first was many years ago when Thomas and I were still dating and hadn’t moved in together. Kelsie had a room that faced the parking lot at our apartments and one afternoon, we drive in and see that the blinds are all sorts of fucked up. Thomas got so pissed off at her for it. She had taken large boards and put black cloth on it and put it in her window, and it had all sorts of fun things pinned to it. It was a decoration. He went in and started yelling at her for it. She was crying, not realizing that it had done the damage and said that you told me it was ok to put those in the windows. He walked out of her room and I was standing there. Her door was closed and I looked at him and asked if he knew that was going to happen when she did that? No, he didn’t know, and I said then need to apologize to her for yelling at her. I told him if you told her it was ok, and then this happened, you can’t yell at her if you didn’t know this was going to happen and you said it was ok. Go and apologize to her.
And he did. And from that time on, when one of us is in the wrong, we do apologize for it. I’m not always right, and thankfully neither is he, though, he’s right a lot more of the time than I am. But he also says I’m sorry a lot more than I have had to. Mostly because he yells a lot and he knows that that’s not cool. We are a work in progress. And I’m totally ok with that.
The second time that this happened wasn’t so long ago. Maybe 5 years ago. Vanessa and I had finally decided to go to the Renn Faire together again. Liz, her daughter was going to met us with a friend of hers down there, and Vanessa and I and Piper and Dez, one of our friend’s daughters was going to drive down. I remember it was a Friday night and we were all so excited. Kelsie was over helping to get Piper in costume, it was going to be a great day.
And then, I got a text message about the plan. Liz was no longer going to met us down there, she and her friend were going to go down with Vanessa and I. This was a big deal because there weren’t enough seat belts to go around. We were short one. I was so upset having to tell Piper that it’s not going to happen. That Vanessa broke our plans to accommodate her daughter, which is in her right to do if she wants. I said something about it. I stewed on it for about 30 minutes, pacing back and forth and what to say and how to say it, I typed out my response to it at least twice before I sent it. I stood up for myself. By ten pm, I was so fired up mad, I decided to go for a walk. I was mad at Thomas for bringing it up and then not letting it go and that I had to say something. I looked at him and said, I’m not happy about this whole situation, so just because I’m not yelling at you, doesn’t mean that I’m not super pissed off about it. He was so happy for me standing up for myself. It was kind of cute actually.
Got home and went to bed, Thomas was already asleep, Kelsie had already taken off and Little Goose likely cried herself to sleep that night. She was so bummed. Vanessa later told me that I was right, that was shitty of her to do and she was sorry. And she was so proud of me for saying something and standing up to her and standing up for myself. I ended up taking Piper to the Renn Faire later in the season, went with Hanna and Alex. We had a great time. We didn’t dress up, but we had a fantastic time.
I still don’t like confrontation. I hate getting in the middle of things and having anyone either yell at me or get mad at me. I’m still a coward, but, I’m getting better with age. I hope… Until the next time friends, have a great day.
The Morning High Runner 