About two or three weeks ago, I read on RunnersWorld on Instagram a story about a woman who had done a marathon and documented it but she had never done any race ever and she was overweight and she walked the whole thing. I liked the story because I like to see the good in the world and see that people are able to do amazing things when they commit to it. Will she do another race? Will this be her thing? I wanted her to proud of herself as I myself have been able to do (not all of the time, but I have felt so good that I felt like my insides were going to burst from the light that wanted to get out. Like a statue breaking from within, that ever elusive runner’s high. That’s amazing!) and I wanted that for her.
Since I have taken up running long distance running, I have found an amazing group of people who cheer you on and inspire you to be better and work harder. I had yet to see anyone be nasty to another in this regards. So imagine my surprise when I looked and found that there are many who took issue with the particular article. The majority of it being, she shouldn’t be featured in this post because she didn’t run any of it. I have read this thread and oh my goodness gracious! They hated that she ate while she walked, and anyone could walk 26.2 miles was another of my favorite remarks.
Taken back doesn’t begin to adequately describe what I am feeling about this. Shocked. Hurt I think is a better word for it. I took offense to some of the comments because while I have not walked an entire marathon, I did sign up for a 30 mile walk in a day. Holy motherfucking hell!!! I would rather not ever do that again. I have to be able to run some of it for me to consider doing it. Like the first 15 miles. It seemed like it was uphill the entire way, but I can assure you, dear reader, that I have run that road and it’s uphill both ways. It was the comment that stated if you have to walk during your runs, you’re not a real runner that was particularly hurtful to me. I’m not her and I don’t know the back story any more than what was featured in this article. But it nearly took my breath away to see that in black and white.
I am not an elite runner. I never will be. I would like to do a marathon in less than 6 hours, but, that’s a lot more work than what I want to do right now. I am nursing a injured leg and have to make sure that when it starts to have that twinge that I have to begin walking. I was never a long distance runner, but, I love the miles.
It took me back to another group long ago, 7? 8? 9 years? Not too sure, 2020 feels like it was 7 years ago and I am shocked to see how much has changed in that time. I have been lucky enough now, in this time, to see Leslie Jones hosting the Daily Show. Oh I like her a lot!! She’s brilliant. More Leslie Jones!!! I digress. It was group of veterans and there were many on there and one day, I came across a post that said if you didn’t have an honorable discharge, you can’t call yourself a real veteran.
OK. First of all, who died and left these people Ed McManhon? Do they think this will invalidate their accomplishment because an overweight woman walked a marathon? I did get one comment back that said it was a page dedicated to running and while they chose to write about this one person, they didn’t highlight that another women broke a running record? I was more impressed with this comment. It gave a different solution to what was a perceived problem. It really broke my heart to see this. It was then that they started to get super petty. Like fucking Karen, can I talk to your manager petty. One woman went onto another profile and started throwing shade at her for her posts that didn’t have anything about running on it. Whoa! Fucking call the manager for being that childish. I wanted to say something to them both. Did you know that famed runner and author, mentor and coach, Jeff Galloway has a running walk method for different distances? He’s set records and he walks part of it, is he know magically not a runner because he walks for a part of it?
The sun goes down. The water is near to the dock again
I thought about these things for my run today. Yes, I walked some of it. Largely in part to the amount of ice that I dodged so I wouldn’t fall down and break my crown 👑 But that muscle, it tells me when it’s time to stop running and walk for a bit. I remember turning onto Larson Road and thinking what gives these people the right to say that you aren’t good enough to be featured in any article on the internet? For fucks’s sake, grow up people. Your small mindedness is really ugly and no matter who you are, once that stink gets on you, it’s a lot like the smell of desperation. It’s a hard one to get off. It turns you ugly. The audacity of people on the internet is overwhelming sometimes.
Mile 2
It was coming up on to mile three when this was really something that was bothering me. Just made me so angry. I set records when I was young, in junior higher running. Actual school records, I was a sprinter. I’m still very proud of that. Why? Because I was always looked at funny when I told others I was a sprinter. “You don’t look like a runner, let alone a sprinter” is what I would hear as they looked me up and down. I was a chunky kid. I’m still thick. I love my curves right now. But tomorrow is a new day and as I get a bit older, I am starting to notice things hurting more than they used to and I take a bit longer to heal than I used to.
At this point in my running, if I have to walk, I’m going to walk. I have to listen to my leg now, I have no desire to re-injure myself. I guess if I don’t run the entire time, then I’m not a runner. And I guess if a real veteran has to have an honorable discharge, then I’m just not a real veteran… I have busted my ass to be able to call myself both of those thing. These opinions are stupid and full of bullshit. This does not invalidate an elite runners accomplishment. This does not invalidate a person who served in a time of war in a theater of war. We were on the offensive side of that war. I worked hard to be where I am and I simply refuse to let others opinions of bring me down. I feel like this kind of thinking proves my little sisters theory that some people just don’t have the sense that god gave lemons.
I got home from my run dn thought about this some more. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me. I know I should just drop the whole thing and keep going and smile, but I feel like I am sick to death of smiling and letting others tell me what they think I should or should not be. This is a subjective opinion piece on a runners page. We aren’t talking about, the Supreme Court did what again? Or the war in Ukraine. Or any group of facts strung together. This is a sport. Some are elite. Others just can’t live without it. If you consider that in 5 years this woman will still be able to say I walked a full marathon and I can do fill in the blank, so can you. I would rather hold someone up as the cross the finish line than worry about a PR. We are a herd. You take care of each other in a herd. The miles are all the same, no matter how long it took you to get to the finish line.
Love this tree!
For the majority of the runners that I have met, I have yet to meet anyone who has said anything like this. So I am lucky in that regard. But, I am also glad that I chose to help others and build them up instead of tearing an accomplishment apart because it doesn’t match someone’s image of what a runner should look like.
I am tired now. I ran hard and I am so grateful for the ability to do my best. I have been pushing myself and I can start to feel some of the good from my efforts. Why, you may wonder. Am I trying to lose weight? Umm.. 😂No. I want to at myself in the mirror, naked and be proud of what this body has been able to do and has been able to overcome to get where I am now. Where am I now? I am able to run again, and working on getting my leg stronger. I was born with a twisted hip and as a result I had to wear special shoes – think ‘magic shoes’ from Forrest Gump – and I have injured that same leg again and again. Most recently, you may remember dear reader, the tear in rectus femoris on September 3rd. I was down for weeks, and had a hard time walking two weeks later. I was lucky enough that I didn’t need surgery. I don’t want to hurt myself. I am getting up and doing it and not only getting out and doing it, but, putting a lot more effort and focus into running than I have ever done before. And that includes running track for three or four years. I want to make a comeback and be better than I was before. I would love to have a running parter. I have been lucky enough to have had two woman running partners whom I love dearly. Now it’s just me and The Yolandi Dog and my thoughts. The buddy was the one who helped you push yourself harder. Never had a faster pace than when Vanessa and I were able to run regularly. And she was way faster than I was. Now we walk instead. I like that we can focus more on the conversation than what I was able to do while running. I could focus on what she was saying, but me trying to run and talk at the same time is not something I can do very well. I want to be strong and leaner.
So cold outside!
And with that thought, I must finish a few other projects. Look out for two more posts tonight 😎🤩😘
For today’s edition of revisiting old thoughts and finishing them, we will look at that one time, when protesters took over the capital building. And then thoughts on it now. I had strong feelings the day after it happened, which is when this was written. I still have strong feeling on it. The goal on revisiting old thoughts is to get one finished once a week. I have 11, including this one. Only ten more weeks to go and then more random thoughts about running and the occasional interludes about politics. and other ramblings.. which are thoughts that I tend to have while running in the morning. So, it works. Anyhow, there were only two corrections to the first part of this blog, both just needed better words due to too many redundancies. It is a bit scattered in the latter part. My mind is racing these days, I need a break 🙂
This is how it started
January 7, 2021
I was impressed with myself this morning for managing to get out of the house and go run. My head was not in the right space and it was most wonderful. I should have left the house a lot sooner than I did and as it would happen, I really needed that full 30 minutes to really get the endorphins going. And, as a result, my mood for the better part of the day was less than stellar. I feel like I should be taking my medicine before I get to work, and instead, it’s sat in my purse all day, and I have only just taken them since getting home today.
As I sit here, I can feel the effects of my meds kicking in and my brain tingles a bit and I can feel myself breathing a little easier. My body isn’t as tense and I’m relaxing into the keyboard as I get ready to get myself a nice bowl of chocolate ice cream. Tillamook Chocolate Mudslide.. if there is any left that is. And my bowl of which I speak, is no bigger than a small 4 ounce bowl, and I really don’t eat a lot of it. It’s too sweet for me. But it’s so rich and delicious, and I don’t eat it very often, I think after the last 36 hours or so, I deserve to take a deep breathe and try to relax. After all, shit really hit the fan yesterday and I can’t stay silent on this one. BRB…..
This is really from tonight… It sounded so good…
Lots of new things for me this week. I bought makeup and I actually like it a lot. I don’t feel like I have makeup on at all, so shout out to IL MAKIAGE for a fine product. I really like the concealer and eyeliner as well. And, the best part about their make-up was I wear a mask all day, every day, and I haven’t had any makeup wear off onto the mask. What IS this magic 🙂 Another first this week was I started to curl my hair before I go to work again. Why am I doing all of this fun getting made up kind of thing? Well, every few years I go through spurts where I want to look nice when I go to work, and so I will get up early and put effort into how I look when I get there. It makes me feel better about myself. I hate the time it takes because I don’t like giving up on my time to anything, so it’s a big deal for me to make an effort to be punctual. Yay me. Although, when I got work on Tuesday, my computer monitor died and I had to use a different one, therefore, I had to have my time adjusted because of the equipment and not because of me. Again, ya me. On Wednesday I got to watch in horror as domestic terrorists stormed the capital building. And what a fucking shit show that was. My stomach still hurts and I can feel my chest tighten as I think of it again. I am going to fast forward a bit to this evening, just before walking downstairs for dinner. I asked my husband did we have any protests in the 80’s that lead to the death of a police officer in the United States. We couldn’t think of any, but, let me take a look… and all the ones that I could find, there could have been more, weren’t on US soil. It was in the 1990’s that this started to happen.
Now, if you think back to the 90’s, I keep thinking it was like, 10 years ago, and it’s a lot more than that in reality. What can I say, I am child of that decade. I remember things happening and not really understanding the gravity of what it was until many years later. In 1993, there was bomb set off in the parking garage of the one of the Twin Towers. I can remember watching Peter Jennings as his calm deep voice would give me the news of the day, I had such a crush on him, who wouldn’t though? I can see the images in my head still of people coming out the building covered in concrete ash. They were coughing and it was a nasty site. I didn’t realize at the time that it was a terrorist attack. I knew what it was, but, at my age, I wasn’t old enough to really grasp the somberness of the situation. And then more things started to happen. More run ins with bombings in building and out in public. The federal building in Oklahoma was blown up in 1995. I was a few years older and I could see how bad this was. The very next year, there was a bombing at the Olympics in Atlanta. Thinking about it now, still makes tears start to well up in my eyes. And then we got to have a serial bomber send people packages that blew up and he did that for the better part of two decades. I could actually go on for a while about all the times since the 90’s that I have seen headlines about people dying in the country in mass shootings, protests, movie theaters, concerts, and our most vulnerable, schools. And while that would be a lovely dive into my thoughts on what we can do to do better, that’s not what I wanted to focus on.
My country has seen it’s fair share of radicals trying to destroy us from the outside. When the towers fell, I was 21, almost 22. I was in the United States Navy, I was in school, learning about lube oil purifiers. I knew in that instant, life was going to change. I had no way of knowing what was to come for me, but, I knew that being in the military, life as I knew it, in the blink of an eye, changed forever. This was the most earth shattering thing for me. That was scary, and I’m grateful I had sister there with me. No, I want to focus on the ones that came from within. The ones who say how much they love America.
Now, back to yesterday… that sounds funny doesn’t it 🙂 … I had no idea that there was anything going on recently. For whatever reason, I haven’t seen a lot of things on social media lately, so I was a bit late to the game about it. My boss was the one who told me about anything going on. It was when he came back from lunch and walked over to my desk and let me know that the capital building had been broken into. I was shocked. And since it was my early day, as I was trying to leave for the day, I was given the opportunity to talk to a woman for a good long while. I think she’s pretty awesome. And then she told me that she thought that this election was completely rigged and 45 won and there just couldn’t be any way that he would have lost. She had two grandkids who were there, she seemed jealous of them. My heart sank. I have a hard time with that one. So, I leave and put on Pandora, the 80’s alternative station. I was totally jamming out and loving it. Got home, and was glad to be there. Walked myself on up the stairs and Thomas has the news on live from a station out of L.A. They were showing photos of the destruction and videos of people wandering around as the bottom of the screen had a thing saying a 6pm curfew is in effect in Washington D.C. Odd. And then they started showing the videos of earlier in the day. The members of Congress and the Senate being taken out of the building through different staircases. Evacuated from their place of work and ordered to shelter in place. Almost like school children are rushed out of a building when there is an active shooter.. Fun Fact.. Most kids in this country have had Active Shooter drills at their schools because you never know when there is going to be a kid with their parent’s semi-automatic weapon that wasn’t locked up decide to take out their frustrations on their fellow students because life is hard and fuck this place, I’m taking everyone down with me manifesto kind of people. I hope during the next year or two, they will give some serious thought to changing the laws regarding guns. Maybe now that they know what it feels like to have that fear run through your veins, they can be empathic to the kids that have to do that drill to help them not get killed when it does happen… I digress… where was I?….. Watching the news reels of the events of the day. I stood there, still as can be, my hands pressed to my lips, eyes wide in shock, tears running down my face. I felt sucker punched, right to the gut. And then it felt like I was getting kicked in the gut over and over again. Wow.
Shock and disbelief is the best way to describe the emotions that I felt in the moment. My head was swirling and in a mess. Today, I tried to go run and it didn’t work. I posted my feelings on my social media, Instagram and one of my running groups. And then I got ready for work. My heart was heavy and I had a lot to say. I cried durning my run this morning. I let the tears flow as best as I could. I let them go some more today at lunch when I got a message that my post was removed from the running group. I knew I took a chance by putting my feelings into words. I was grateful for the kindness of the admin person who was super awesome. I never got to see the reaction to it, but, it could have been bad. I suspect that it was bad enough. I felt personally attacked, but, I didn’t have to actually read what others may or may not have said. It’s all just a gamble to me. And it could have been taken down before much was noticed. Who knows. I don’t right now. I’m ok with that, really. I have a hard time with online attacks, it’s not my best platform for trying to do debates. I would much rather get together with someone and talk to them in person, over a phone call, or whatever. I’m just not an internet arguing kind of person.
Anyhow, the point I was trying to make, very slowly, was that all of these things have hurt us. We have all felt the pain of an attack on our country. I would say many of us, but, then I realize not everyone is old enough to remember what it was like when the Federal building went down. It was more that the attacks had come from one of our own, one of our citizens, who was so upset with the way things were going, they decided they needed to make some changes. It’s like being stabbed in the back. We were unsuspecting fools to think it wouldn’t happen to us, but it did.
Yesterday was a far worse attack. Why do I say this? How can I compare this to Oklahoma? It’s nothing like that, and you’re right, to an extent, but let me continue. Yesterday, I got to see people who claim to be patriots of our country, the ones who say protesting and kneeling at a football game, silently, during the National Anthem, is disrespectful of the military, break through the doors of the very building that represents the law making part of our country and disrespect every military personnel, every veteran who ever put on that uniform, all of them, living and deceased. I saw the ones who claim that they are god fearing good christians act like shameful thugs and shit all over everything the military stands for. We took an oath of office to protect this country from all terrorist, foreign AND DOMESTIC. And what I saw yesterday was exactly that. They brought a confederate flag into that building, a flag from a group of people who LOST THE FUCKING WAR, into our most scared of places.
And those officers, wow. They didn’t seem to be prepared for any of this. Golly… When the protest for the Black Lives Matter was going on, the National Guard was called out and used lots of different way to subdue the crowd, including, but not limited to tear gas, and rubber bullets. People died in those riots. And the protests were over the disproportionate deaths of black men by the police. What’s really going to wet your noodle is know that if this was a group of black men, they would have been shot, a lot of them, brute force would have been used, and it wouldn’t have been the escorting out the building with no one in cuffs that was seen yesterday. Why was it so different? These people who took the building this week were white. You got it. A bunch of white people, who were incited by the president of this country to take back the vote, fight if you need, don’t give up without a fight, trial by combat, blah blah blah.
You know what this feels like to me. Well, first, work wasn’t as fun as I would have liked, given the day. I was relieved that none of my customers wanted to talk about today. And if they did, they didn’t say anything to me about it. At lunch, when I got the message from the admin lady, I was heartbroken. The place that I feel the safest to post about how I feel in life and getting though life, and it was taken down. I get it. But, I felt like a little kid getting in trouble for taking a chance and doing something that you might get in trouble for, but you might not. Today was a not. I was devastated, but, I was able to cry a bit more and that felt so much better. I got to talk to another cool person that I work with, and he was fun to talk to. Got back from lunch and felt better. I was still uptight, and I just put on my happy face and kept trying. On my way to and from work today, I changed the station on Pandora to U2 station and it was like it knew I needed that. They could read my mind. On the way home, it played The Rolling Stones, You Can’t Always Get What You Want, and then I started to think about the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch the part where he’s talking about an essay he did for college, entitled, You, Cunt, Always Get What You Want. I giggled at thinking about that line. Always made me laugh. The last song on the way home with Pink Floyd’s Hey You, from The Wall. Now it’s one of my favorite albums, The Wall. I was given it the first time as a gift from my sister Colleen. She wrapped it in Starbucks napkins, and duct tape. Best gift! I listened to it for year. Today, while thinking on the lyrics, the closing lines of the song are, Together we stand, divided we fall. How true they are.
Today
April 6, 2021
It’s been 4 months since the attack on the capital and there has been a lot that has happened. Including, but not limited to, a birthday present for Kelsie, already arrived, Hanna had her baby, Kim had her baby, My little friend is 8 months old.. He’s so sweet and cute and tiny. I set out to finish the David Goggins 4x4x48 challenge in March and completed it!! I’m actually wearing the shirt right now, but, it’s dinner time right now, BRB…. So I get downstairs and Thomas asks what I’m doing. I said you told me dinner would be ready in 15 minutes, so I’m down here. He smile and says, 5 minutes Turkish… I brought the computer downstairs instead 🙂
Other notable things that have happened since that day 4 months ago, another officer was killed at the capital buildings this week. Had a car drove into him. I swear this place resembles a battlefield more and more to my mind. I am heartbroken over the politics of it, of which I don’t even want to go into. Instead, let’s talk about the coolest thing to happen this year is that the Boston Marathon opened up for a virtual race in October for the marathon. It is only open for 70,000 people and wouldn’t you know it, I fucking signed up!!! Hells yes, I’m excited. I don’t think that at this point in my life I am going to qualify with the time. Not to say that I won’t do that, but, that’s not a priority right now. Once it’s something I set my mind to doing, I am going to bust my ass to get there and dammit, I will make it on my own merit, but, that’s not right now. I am so over the moon about it. I haven’t talked about it on social media much about it, but, I am now. I am going to run the Boston Marathon this year, on my birthday. I won’t get the medal as soon as I cross the line, but, I will getting it done.
Holy Shit!!! That’s so cool
I am thinking more and more about the route I want to take when it comes to this. I live at 6800 feet above sea level and am trying to figure out what do I want to do. I will have to plan this out, train, work hard over the summer and make it happen. I am not a huge fan of running in the summer. I tend to whine about it a lot more than I should. I can still run, and for that I’m very grateful. I have done a walk with the dog yesterday and today. I need to get myself up earlier so I can actually get a good run in daily. I love how good I feel after I finish running. I think this means that there is going to be a big change in the way that I eat. I have no choice in that. I need to treat myself more like an athlete. Feed it better food. Take care of it more.
I have been getting a little more sleep in the last week or two or three. I have found that I love getting 8 hours of sleep at night. It feels amazing. I would love to get to bed earlier so I can get 8 hours and get up and go run 6 miles. That would mean going to bed a lot earlier… And then I wonder what if I went after dinner? Wait about 2 hours and then go run. That way I could come home and stretch and shower and go to sleep.. But the dog wakes me up in the morning, so, that doesn’t work either. Who knows, I will figure it out. I will just have to find a career in writing and running and making a better hat for women runners.
This mornings walk
So, that’s where I am now. Training for Boston. I also signed up for the Pat Tillman run that I will also do as a virtual race. I am looking forward to doing in person running races again. Dinner is ready now… BRB
Oh that was delicious. Grilled chicken and peppers and baby potatoes. No, I couldn’t eat it all. It was so good. After dinner, Thomas asked me to grab something from the gas station so I went. I walked up and down the candy, giggling to myself thinking, yeah, some athlete. I settled for a mango apple bar called That’s It. It just has an apple and a mango. I left them in the car for tomorrow. They will make for a great breakfast. I feel like being able to take on this marathon is big deal and it’s going to be won with the everyday battles I have with food and working out and taking proper care of myself. I will have to change the way I think about food altogether I think. Who knows. Maybe I will have more on this next week. Maybe I will make more sense next. Or, better yet, I will eat a bowl of ice cream and savor the rich chocolate flavors and smile at my day, give thanks for the wonder and beauty of my life, and go to bed happy. Again, who knows. Peace ~
I will be the first to tell you that I am not super stellar at being motivated in my personal life. At work, I tend to move and want to learn more, pushing myself to do better so I can, I guess, climb the ladder. I am not a fan of working. I feel like I have been working for the last 26 years, and I am not a fan of it and I no longer wish to work in the traditional sense of what I do. I perfer the comfort of my home, listening to my favorite writing music and putting my fingers on the keyboard and letting my mind wader as I type. I hit backspace a lot 🙂 While I am in my socks and yoga pants and slippers, sitting in my home feeling the composers pain as the tones of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor beaten into a pipe organ come flying into my ears, I don’t want to do anything. Not house work, not dishes not cleaning, and unless I am pushing very hard to finish a month with one hundred miles or more, I don’t like getting up in the morning and working out.
Alas, it’s now week four of marathon training. The first two weeks of training went fairly well. Got my long runs in and I was starting to have a good flow for it. And then last week, I slipped a bit. Monday wasn’t bad at all. Tuesday I had a schedule change and this became my early day. I got home thinking I was going to be able to change and then get my run in, likely pushing it close to my violin lesson. I instead had a discussion with my husband about the current cover of Runner’s World Magazine. The headline is talking about women and how many are harassed while running.
Needless to say, I didn’t leave the conversation with good feelings. Not like I was angry or anything, but, when trying to explain to someone I know intimately that I felt so inarticulate with my words, I was crushed. I want to make a living out of, essentially, explaing to others how I feel, and this was a huge blow to me. How will I ever be able to do that, if I can’t even express my thoughts to my husband, my best friend? It didn’t sit well with me. The run didn’t happen, though the lesson did. I came home in a funk and I couldn’t shake it. This lead into Wednesday. All day I was off. I couldn’t let it go, didn’t know what to think of it. And then, to make me feel especially good, I had a customer tell me that at my age, there wasn’t any real changes I could make that would allow me to be able to move out of the area, even if I wanted to. I’m stuck. Wow.. That made me feel really good. That night, my husband was the most wonderful man. He held me and loved me and didn’t judge me and wasn’t angry that I was off. I felt so validated. Thursday morning comes along and I didn’t run. I wanted to, but, a few contributing factors had left me feeling like I was getting sick. There have been prescribed burns going on in the area for the last three weeks and with little to no wind, the smoke settles in the trees and air and it gets in your head making you feel like you’ve been hit by a train. I slept in, and I was so glad for that. Friday, I was still not feeling good. Saturday I had planned the long run, 10 miles, but, that just never happened.
Sunday came and I was prepared for it. I had my new water bag out and ready to go, my bag packed with treats and fuel for the run. Everything was ready, and since I was leaving early, I figured I would miss the church crowd. Had my route planned and everything. I was going to run to the stop light and cross and head into Pinetop. From there I would run until I got to 3.8 and turn around. That was going to give me 4 miles left when I get to the stop light. It was more like 3. Now what? I hadn’t planned that part of it. So, I winged it. I was half a mile from home which meant I would need 2.5 miles, which is 1.25 miles one way. Off I go down the road, thinking, I wouldn’t be too long. It felt like an eternity.
3.8 miles from my house is The Lion’s Den… The end of town… before the country club.
I have managed to do pretty well on my workouts since then. I made a giant training calendar and it’s in my room and as the days go by, I mark off another workout completed. Without even realizing it, I am nearing the end of my first four weeks of training. I am surprised how quickly that went by. I am shocked is more like it. Who would have thunk it?
Sunlight through the yellow leaves
There is always much talk about cross training in my running groups on the internet. I have come to love so many of the people in these groups. It’s a place to be able to say what is on my heart and weighing me down without a lot of judgement. To be fair, I don’t like to air my dirty laundry on the internet. I have from time to time used my blog as a forum to bitch about work, but, after only hours, I have taken them down again. I don’t like to do that. There is such a thing called privacy. Not that I don’t tell people how far I ran today on the daily, but, my private life, I have a hard time talking to others about stuff that is none of their business. I have learned the hard way in my life to know that what gets written down can always be seen. If I don’t want the public to know, I don’t put it to pen, or fingers to keyboard. <<<<SQUIRREL>>>>>
One of these things is not like the others…
Cross training… There is a lot that can be said about adding some basic weight training to the running. I used to own a weight program and I loved it, but, I couldn’t find it. I knew that for this race, I was going to want to do some serious cross training to help me get into better shape for this race. I want to finish in 6 hours. I know I can walk 30 miles in 8 hours, I am pretty sure I can do 26.2 in less than 6. And by adding the weights, it will help me to tone up more and develop more muscle definition. Like in my legs.. I love my legs!
For this part of it, I wanted to find a good running plan and combine it with the weight training plan that I already have. I am using the methods described in Run Less Run Faster for the running portion of it and ChaLEAN Extreme for the weight part of it. I like how they work together. Three days of running and three days of weights is where I have settled into my plan. I noticed at the end of the second week, I was feeling like my pants were fitting a little nicer. Last week, not only did I let the voices in my head win the battles, but I ate shitty food to go with it. Fried pickles and beer were among the favorites that I had. Along with ice cream, lots of good chocolate ice cream. I knew I was going to have a hard time running on Sunday, but, it was ok. I wasn’t going to quit just because I had a bad few days.
Tomorrow will be the last workout in the Burn phase of the weights. I am so thrilled that I am able to say I have finally finished a full month of this training plan. Bought it years ago, like, before I met my husband, and had all of the workout written down so I could track and I have never made it past the third week in this. I was proud to see that yesterday as I was marking what I was able to lift and how many reps.
Thus far, with only a few days of setbacks, I am pleased with the progress so far. I notice that while I can’t run as long as I want, I have to have some sort of discipline in it, I feel like my legs are so much more powerful. Yay, squats are working! With the winter setting in slowly, I am glad that I’m not trying to kill myself with a ton of miles every day.
Watch out Phoenix Marathon, I am coming for you…… I am going to beat this training cycle.
This last year has been a challenge for me with running. For the last two years, I have been able to run virtual runs and earn milage for different places around the web. One of my favorite being Yes.Fit. I am pleased with myself with these medals and I have busted my ass to get them. I have goals and with the running, I have been able to meet these goals. This year has been substantially different.
For starters, I have a lot of medals. And I love to look at them, but, I have no place to put them. I have this awesome hanger my sister got me last year to help display them, and I haven’t found a place to hang it. And then there is the other factor of I really should have saved the money on these medals. For the medal and the shirt, because what is a race of sorts without the t-shirt to prove that I did it, it’s about $50. Which is totally reasonable since most races are about that and the local ones, until this year, haven’t had medals for finishers. But when I add up how many I have done, and how much I have put on my credit card, well, then it starts to add up.
I had promised my husband that this year I would be different. I wouldn’t sign up for any virtual races. And unless I had already signed up for a race, I wasn’t going to go to any of them unless they were on the mountain. So far this year, there have been two races, with a possibility of two more.
I need to have goals. I need to feel like the work I am doing is going for something. I want to have to push myself to do something that I thought I would never be able to finish. My body is strong and I want to see what kind of limits it can push and reach and accomplish if given the opportunity to do so. I want to fly if I could.
With the no races rule for the year in place, I have slacked off big time. I didn’t have a goal of reaching 1000 miles for the year, I didn’t have that extra push of trying to beat my last year. Why? What do I get out of it? I know that sounds bad, but, I want to be able to show off the fruits of my labor for having put so much time and effort and strain on my family. I run in the mornings because, I feel like when my daughter needed me, I needed to be there for her and the evening runs were just not helping the family. So I go in the morning.
But I will be honest here. While I love to get to see a beautiful sunrise, I loved running after work. I feel like it gives me the chance to burn off whatever angry customer I had to deal with today. I get to self evaluate what I could have done better and hopefully be able to put it into practice so I can be better the following day.
Let me tell you what races I have done. In January, I was able to complete the Arizona Rock ‘N’ Roll 5k and 10k. In April, I did the Pat Tillman run here on the mountain. It’s 4.2 miles representing Pat’s jersey number while he played for the Arizona Cardinals. Very emotional run for me. In June, I was able to run the San Diego Rock ‘N’ Roll 5k and half relay with my little sister. Now, in August, I have run a glow run with my daughter for the High Mountain Half series. If they have another Turkey Trot I will do that and I am thinking of signing up for the Cool Runnings 10k that is offered during the Fall Festival the last weekend of September. I need more.
I have singed up for my first marathon. As in an actual marathon distance. The distance that was ran and then promptly after the first person did that, they died. He ran from the ocean to Marathon which was a distance of 26.2 miles to tell of the invasion that was coming towards them. We honor his death all the time with this distance and well, less than 1% of the world can say they have finished a marathon. It’s a big one and I am scared. And what’s even more fun, training doesn’t start until much later this year. But I have no motivation to get up and go run now.
As I sit here, feet up, drinking coffee in my bathrobe, I know that I could have gotten up and gone for a run, but, instead I chose to sleep in and enjoy my morning. I needed to write so I guess the run will have to be postponed until laster today. Maybe. I don’t like that the one thing I had pushed for is now what I use to not run. If there is no medal, what’s the point? Why keep putting in the miles if I don’t get anything to show for how hard I have tried to push myself? Will I ever find out? Not sure. Maybe I will next year, but unit then, I feel like these are all just wasted miles. I realize how shallow that sounds, but, it’s the truth. I want to see something for my hard work.
As I think of what my next run will be, hopefully at least the loop around the lake, I will think of the events of the weekend. I have read much and have many thoughts of what the fuck is wrong with the deranged thoughts of a mad man. I will lace up and go out and wonder why and what can I do to help be the change to make it a better world for my daughters. I will think about when is it my time? Will I be hanging out with my family going to a movie or a concert? Will I be shopping for my next meal? Will it be while I’m going to church to support someone? Will it be at work or when I am out running with my dog? I hope none of those come to pass, but, in looking back at the last 20 years, I can’t be sure of anything anymore. I am mostly concerned for my girls. What if they are just trying to learn about fractions and integers? I digress…
I think the ultimate goal for me is to be able to become a full time writer and have the freedom to run when I want… wouldn’t that be nice?
The Morning High Runner 