Tag: love

A Running Hiatus: Have You Ever Spoken Up When You Saw Something Was Going Wrong?

WOW. That’s a good question for today. The second part of that was, were you scared? What was the outcome? Well, I suppose it’s time that I tell a hard truth, I am a coward. I’m the Libra who hates confrontation so much that I have allowed people to walk all over me and use me as a doormat. However, from time to time, I have stood up and said something.

There are two times that come to mind when I think of this. The first was many years ago when Thomas and I were still dating and hadn’t moved in together. Kelsie had a room that faced the parking lot at our apartments and one afternoon, we drive in and see that the blinds are all sorts of fucked up. Thomas got so pissed off at her for it. She had taken large boards and put black cloth on it and put it in her window, and it had all sorts of fun things pinned to it. It was a decoration. He went in and started yelling at her for it. She was crying, not realizing that it had done the damage and said that you told me it was ok to put those in the windows. He walked out of her room and I was standing there. Her door was closed and I looked at him and asked if he knew that was going to happen when she did that? No, he didn’t know, and I said then need to apologize to her for yelling at her. I told him if you told her it was ok, and then this happened, you can’t yell at her if you didn’t know this was going to happen and you said it was ok. Go and apologize to her.

And he did. And from that time on, when one of us is in the wrong, we do apologize for it. I’m not always right, and thankfully neither is he, though, he’s right a lot more of the time than I am. But he also says I’m sorry a lot more than I have had to. Mostly because he yells a lot and he knows that that’s not cool. We are a work in progress. And I’m totally ok with that.

The second time that this happened wasn’t so long ago. Maybe 5 years ago. Vanessa and I had finally decided to go to the Renn Faire together again. Liz, her daughter was going to met us with a friend of hers down there, and Vanessa and I and Piper and Dez, one of our friend’s daughters was going to drive down. I remember it was a Friday night and we were all so excited. Kelsie was over helping to get Piper in costume, it was going to be a great day.

And then, I got a text message about the plan. Liz was no longer going to met us down there, she and her friend were going to go down with Vanessa and I. This was a big deal because there weren’t enough seat belts to go around. We were short one. I was so upset having to tell Piper that it’s not going to happen. That Vanessa broke our plans to accommodate her daughter, which is in her right to do if she wants. I said something about it. I stewed on it for about 30 minutes, pacing back and forth and what to say and how to say it, I typed out my response to it at least twice before I sent it. I stood up for myself. By ten pm, I was so fired up mad, I decided to go for a walk. I was mad at Thomas for bringing it up and then not letting it go and that I had to say something. I looked at him and said, I’m not happy about this whole situation, so just because I’m not yelling at you, doesn’t mean that I’m not super pissed off about it. He was so happy for me standing up for myself. It was kind of cute actually.

Got home and went to bed, Thomas was already asleep, Kelsie had already taken off and Little Goose likely cried herself to sleep that night. She was so bummed. Vanessa later told me that I was right, that was shitty of her to do and she was sorry. And she was so proud of me for saying something and standing up to her and standing up for myself. I ended up taking Piper to the Renn Faire later in the season, went with Hanna and Alex. We had a great time. We didn’t dress up, but we had a fantastic time.

I still don’t like confrontation. I hate getting in the middle of things and having anyone either yell at me or get mad at me. I’m still a coward, but, I’m getting better with age. I hope… Until the next time friends, have a great day.

A Running Hiatus: What Person Knows You Best & How Did You Meet?

A long damn title today. You may have noticed dear reader that if you were to put in the website I just created, you will have noticed that it brought you right back here to this very page. Not a new one that I had thought I created. Oh well, Here we go.

There is only one person who really knows me best and I would have to say that is my husband. I don’t know how many others can say the same about their partner, but I know that I can say it about mine. We operate on the same wave length and that always makes me smile.

We met just over 15 years ago. We met in school for massage therapy. I was there because I needed to do something with my life, and he was there to start over in a new place with his youngish daughter and baby bird. It started off very well too. On the second day I knew he liked me, and after that day, according to Miss Charlotte, I mentioned his name every single day until we started officially dating.

At that time in my life, Piper was still just a little one. I had just moved into my parents house, again, and I had to send Piper to go live with her dad while I was in school. I had to, there was no way that I could send time with her if she was there due to work and school schedule. I worked from 5.30 – 2.30. Class started at 3 and ended at 7.30. By the time I would get home, it would be too late to even get to put her to bed. I struggled with that one. I hated sending her away, but at the same time, it gave me a chance to focus on studying. And I did, finishing top in the class.

Thomas and I started talking a lot more once the second semester started. We would stand outside of the classroom talking, sometimes for many hours before I would go home. There was just something about him. There have been many ups and downs in our relationship, but I still chose him daily. When we are talking about something, he’ll say it just as I’m thinking it. We agree on food and drinks, we get to go shopping together and enjoy one another.

During the course of the school year, I took some weekend classes, the ones that I loved the most, being the reiki classes. Durning one of the days we were working, I remember Carole, our instructor, saying to just clear your mind. Empty it of all things. And for a moment, with my eyes closed there was all blackness all around in my safe spot. And then his face came into my line of vision. I knew there was something more to this person than just the guy in class with me. I dove deeper into studies and the more I learned and healed, the more he came into my view. By the time we got to our first hands on class, it was into him. We were doing a project together and Carole said that tomorrow night, we will be working on each other and that we will need to pick a partner. Without missing a moment, he asked if I wanted to be his partner. 🤩🤩

Other signs were there. That first night that I got to work on him, he fell asleep, and I was so relieved. The next night, we switched and I was on the table. He did the first long efflorage stoke down my back and lifted his hands and was like whoa.. The teacher came over to find out what was wrong and he said that my skin turned hot as he rubbed down my back. Shit, he knew that I liked him. It didn’t turn out to be a bad thing though. On the first night back from winter break, we partnered up again and he was again the first to be worked on. I put my hands on his shoulders and again, the whoa! statement came out. Said that I shocked him and he felt it all the way in his toes. 😳

I find it very easy to love him. We laugh together, he laughs at me when I cry but there are times that we do cry together. We have fun together and he’s the only one I want to go on adventure with. We have moments of anger with each other, but, it’s a safe place for him to be angry just as it’s a safe place for me to be angry. There have been many things that could have torn us apart and I keep choosing him. He has my heart ❤️ We have our fair share of arguments and we have a difference of opinion about many things, but one thing is for sure, he will forever be my always. ❤️