Since I started to run, on the anniversary of the twin towers falling, I have been able to take the day and reflect and lose myself in my thoughts. I tend to make this day and Veteran’s Day a long run if possible. However, after my first real injury, I am unable to do that for 9/11. I try to stay off of social media for the day as well and focus my energies somewhere else. Like my family.

I came across a post from years back, I love the memories section in Facebook, and it talked about 9/12. How unified we were as a country, how much we wanted to take revenge for the nearly 3000 souls that were taken from us far too soon. How it effected every day life for all of us. I wanted to talk about that day….

On the day of the events that would shape the next four years of my life, I was just out of boot camp for the Navy. We were on a break from class, it was called Mech Core. For all of the mechanical engineers going into the fleet with a designated field dealing with main propulsion. Mine was Engineman. I was sitting in class, talking to someone, and Bruce runs into our classroom and says someone drove a plane into the world trade center. What?! As we all sat in shock for a moment, I’m sure we either blew it off or where more of mind blown 🤯 kind of thing. Then our instructor runs into the class and turns the TV on to any channel at that point. And there it was. Live television. Time seemed to stand still, and then we watched as the second plane hit the other building.

It was so very surreal. I can remember it and yet, there are parts of it that my little sister remembers that I don’t recall any of. We were marched to lunch that day to the galley as every civilian was told to leave base. I don’t remember much from that day. Lexi says that we were able to meet up and call our parents that night. It was living in a dream of some sorts. I knew that when they announced we were on class Delta lockdown, that my life, and those all around me, would never be the same again.

The following day, 9/12, it seemed that the entire country was ready to go to battle al la Mad Max: Fury Road.. the new one with Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron…. The part where they were all chasing all of the females, that’s what it seemed like. That sense that the world was going to let loose what no one wanted to see angered. The United States. We were with it. Women and men alike joined the military in droves. Even my recruiter was all up and arms about going to war with these motherfuckers!! Flags were flying in every place that you could fly one. There were all kinds of people reaching out to their neighbors, uniting as a whole. Hatred for each other was greatly outweighed for those fuckers who dared strike on our own territory!!! Even the president got on the TV and gave some kind of rousing speech. It was scary because I knew that we were going to war, and I’m most likely to be assigned to a ship and then go to a war zone, but I was shocked how many seemed to embrace one another in love and camaraderie. We, for a brief moment in time, could truly call ourselves, The United States.

Days gave way to weeks and weeks gave way to years. We have come and gone, and our leaving those countries was just as horrific as our going into those places. I didn’t pay that much attention to politics while I was in the military. I simply took my orders and did what we needed to do. And if that meant back to back deployments with less than 45 days notice (which happened on two of the three deployments I had), then that’s what it took. Those times were hard, but, we loved the people who were beside us. Even the ones we didn’t like, we were still in it together. And to be honest, I would have been proud to give my life to save the ones I served with. Even the ones I didn’t like. And if you’ve served, you understand. If not, then I think you truly missed out on that kind of togetherness.

Each year on 9/11 my princess, Judi, posts a speech our captain gave when we joined the U.S.S. Rosevelt in our pursuit of ‘the enemy’. It’s a long speech, and it’s beautiful. It breaks my heart when I read it and I often wonder how so many can keep a stiff upper lip when reading this. I’ll post it some other time… The years have come and gone since that day. Many people have talked about that day, what it means to them. Where were they when they heard the news? What were you doing? Very similar to how you can ask people about where were you when you heard that Kennedy was shot, and they will give an exact recount of those moments when they heard that news.

Now days, I often wonder if this country will self destruct from the inside out. We are so divided as a country, and I wonder how can I leave this world a better place for my kids and my grandkids, and the truth is, I don’t think it’s going to end well. I hope I’m wrong, and I hope that good wonderful amazing things will happen to strengthen our bonds as a country and come together in both ideologies and concerns. I wish I could say that it’s not going to be something out of a fictitious book, but I can’t.

Many writers have captured what they think our dystopian future will look like. I watch V for Vendetta and I wonder if that’s a foreshadowing of a fictitious world, that isn’t too far off from what seems to be our inevitable destiny. I can say with all certainty that I don’t see how we would ever truly become so united, not just as a country, but as a world, to come up and be able to build such a truly amazing self sustaining space ship where we get to visit other planets and the like. I want to say that it would be amazing if that was the case. However I feel we are heading towards more of a Handmaids Tale kind of future. Sad, but true. I don’t have that kind of hope for a better future… Or if you prefer, a Cloud Atlas kind of future.. That would be my other guess… Who knows, all I know is, I miss the days when we smiled at each other, and thought that just for a brief moment in time, we could be united.