A few days ago, I had started thinking about the goals I started the year with and how am I doing with all of them. It got me thinking a lot more seriously about goals and actually obtaining and exceeding those set goals. It started as a good week and since I was starting a different position on the 30th, I began thinking about the coming month, February, and what kind of things should I think about. It came to mind that I am great at starting things and not so great at finishing any thing that I have sought out to do. So, perhaps a different approach is warranted.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If your first way isn’t working to do something different. I gave some thought to my current goals that I have set out to work on this year. There is the 1000 miles that I am working towards. Going into this year, I knew that I wanted to set a goal that would help get my leg back to base line and hopefully getting better all the time. I have set out to spend two hours a day doing something I love and keeping my phone out of my hands. I want to play music again and I want to do the splits, both sides and front splits. I want to progress in my violin playing and take up trumpet again and one day play with the orchestra or symphony. I want to write letters and send them again, I have so many cards, might as well see if I can get rid of all of them this year.. I have 4 boxes of stationary on my desk, it’s high time I use them.
This brings me to where are these goals now. I’ll address each in the same order listed above. 1000 miles is a hard goal to meet. I have done it one year, and then come with 100 miles of that a few years. I really like running a lot. I really enjoy getting out and being outdoors, feeling the wind in my face. Not doing these one and two mile runs because the dog doesn’t want to go further, I can take her back and keep going to finish where I wanted. I have been running, not as much as I want, but, I caught the Rona so I’m down for a few days. I have got nearly 50 miles in thus far and my breathing is doing ok, so I’m hoping to be able to get back out there soon. I also knew that the first two months is still before I am going to start pushing myself more. I want to get back into a good running form and stuff while I still work back to baseline. I have added a few weights before going out with squats and some other stuff but, nothing too major. I just want to hit baseline stronger than I was. I know that I have nearly impossible goals for myself, but, I know I can do it. Another aspect of running that I am doing a little differently as well, is doing the run on purpose. And what I mean by that is, focusing while I’m out. Focus on my form and work to get better. The idea is to get better. I think I will be getting back to baseline in about one to two months. And the goal for this month is to up the milage by about 30 miles total. From there, I can up the miles another 30 for the month following, to be a monthly goal of 110. I like to be an overachiever. I feel like this will work for me. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be worth it? Again, yes.
I had this all done.. And then it went into autosaving and lost the entirety of my writing. Mother fucker!!! And I can’t copy and paste without adding on some additional charges for the webpage, so, now, I’m stuck. I will get that taken care of, because, now, I’m just irritated and the joy of writing is gone. I don’t appreciate my internet going out as often as it does at the worst times possible.
Long story short, I haven’t gotten as far as any of my goals as I wanted. I’m still working on it, but, there is a lot to do and I’m working on it. I’m so mad right now. Just mad I lost all of it.. Hold please, I’ll be right back.
4 Days Later…
Let’s try this again… And inhale compassion….. Exhale the bullshit….. When I started the year, I had thought about trying to give up having social media altogether. I was good for about two weeks. So, it’s now the first full week of February. Then I saw a goal of spending two hours a day to something I wanted to do, something that I loved. I have managed to get some sewing done. I have spent a lot of time in the last week on my phone, but, now that I’m back to work, I don’t spend a whole lot of time on it durning the day. I have been writing. I have loved writing. Or it could be that I love listening to my writing playlist 🧐. I have written letters, and I have been reading. Like reading an actual book. This month my sisters and mom are reading Fight Like A Girl by Kate Germano with Kelly Kennedy. It’s a good book, but, after working in the Auxiliary Division in Engineering on two different ships, being the only female on my second ship for a while, I understand all too well what she is talking about. It boils my blood to know that it’s not just me, and I hate that it continues. I need to bring it back… Breathe…. I spent one evening researching how to self publish my book. I think I can do it, but, I have no idea how many to order. Can you, dear reader, give me some feedback: Would you be interested in a book about what to do when someone dies? Like go read the letter in my desk when I’m gone kind of thing. It a workbook that you get to fill in the blanks. It’s designed for those who don’t have a ton of money to shell out for a trust or have a will drawn up. You can write your own obituary even. But there is a ton of stuff to know that many don’t think about. Please, do me a kindness and let me know what you think about it.
Another fun one on the goal list of the year, doing the splits. That would require that I get my head out of my ass and do the stretches daily. Somehow I have yet to be able to do that this month. I have done some stretches last month, I don’t know if I logged them as such, but, I did do a lot more stretching than I have done since I first started. Some of the stretches are hard and it may take a while for me to be able to do this. I still want to try and do it. I know I can, it’s just a matter of doing it. What is so hard about stretching that makes me dread it so? Is it because I know that it will help my range of motion and allow me to maintain and increase both flexibility and stamina while running? Is it because I know that it takes time and I want to have results in three days? I wonder if it’s because the journey down will take to me to a new realm of thinking and change will happen? What kind of change would it bring? Good change or bad change, it does not matter for me, I am terrified of change. I don’t have a good answer as to why. I trust things will always work out, and they do. So many questions to ask myself…. Am I really scared of success??? Everything I want is on the other side of fear. I have to let go of fears and relax. It’s going to work out better than I can dream…
I want to play music again. I have always loved how music feels. Classical music is by far one of my more favorites due to the richness of the instruments. So many of them intertwined with one another. They tell such a story, it makes my heart feel so much. I have a violin. I took some lessons a few years ago. It’s chilling in the cabinet right now. I have sheet music for my shiny new trumpet, that silver beauty that shines like glitter in the sunlight.. Actually, it’s more like a mirror and will blind you if aimed just right. That trumpet is living under my bed right now. My music stand in the corner, just waiting to be pulled out and set up and used. I’m sure both of my instruments at this point are more of a novelty, but everything in me says that I need to pick them both up and use them. It’s what they are there for. As for being able to play with an ensemble, that, I don’t know. I would like to think that it would be such a fun challenge. I would actually have to practice and I don’t want to let others down when it comes to that kind of thing, I’m not ready….. Let’s just see how it goes for the next month. I would like to log at least a few hours of practice for both of them. Five would be a good goal I think. A doable goal that I can reach. Let’s see shall we.
The last one listed is writing more letters and sending them. I wasn’t lying when I said that I have 4 boxes of cards to send. Most of them are blank inside, but, if they have writing in them, I just cross it out and keep writing. I have managed to get a few letters/cards out in the mail. I am hoping to get some more done this week. It’s not that I don’t like mailing things, I just don’t always do what I know I should. Remember I’ve Been Meaning To Write… Yeah, I have been writing. I am using my new cards right now. They are getting all sorts of stamps. One box, I think it’s the succulent ones, I already put stamps on them, so now I feel like I really should use those. I like my handwriting, and it’s nice to get a letter in the mail. I have been using my postcards as well, sending those to my niece. She’s so darn cute, only 5.. Adorable little girl. I am looking forward to checking in on my goals in a month.
There are other little things that I would like to do, like color my giant turtle poster. I have new crayons and I never share them, I thought I might as well use them. And coloring is fun. There have been days when the three of us would sit on our bed and color for the evening while listening to cool tunes, enjoying the time together. I do like when we spend our time together. We have been watching Game of Thrones again. Love that show ❤️ Thomas is actually upstairs watching the last two episodes of season two. The Battle of the Blackwater and another one, I don’t remember what it was. I feel like there is so much of that show that I have missed since I haven’t seen all of the episodes and if I have, it was nearly a decade ago that I watched season one and two. I really loved the Red Witch. She was so unlikeable. I thought she was beautiful. Scary as can be and beautiful. Anyhow, the point is that I am trying to spend time with the family more and be present when I am. I am a work in progress, for sure. I have a few projects that I want to work on as well and I will work on those this week. They require a lot of patience and I’m not there today. I think I will be tomorrow. (You guessed it, hats and my video for our company.)
Tomorrow will be a run day. Time to get going on the pavement again. I do love being outside in the weather, I really dislike being in the wind though. Today was a very windy day. I wouldn’t call it blustery, those days have a certain feel to them and I didn’t get that feeling so, not a blustery day, but windy. Soon it will be wind season and I will have no choice. Perhaps I should make myself a headband to keep my ears warm, but let my head breathe 🧐Another project to add to the many.. Ugh!!
Goodnight kids, sleep well, peace ~
The Morning High Runner 