Many years ago, there was a dude who went to college at Arizona State and then played for the Arizona Cardinals. When the twin towers were hit, this man left football and joined the Army in hopes of being an Army Ranger. He was in for less two years before he was killed in action by friendly fire. He was Pat Tillman, number 42 on the Sun Devils and 40 for the Cardinals.
Since this is the17th year of this run, I can only surmise that they started doing this very shortly after he was killed. ASU officially retired his jersey number, 42, and now that’s the distance we run in his honor. I have done this one twice now, one two years ago and the other was today, done virtually, of course.
I thought about this man and hope that he was an honorable person in his lifetime. I didn’t watch much football and I don’t watch it now either, so I don’t know if he was a good player. He must have been, to be playing pro ball. Anyhow, we do this run all through the state. Different towns have the run, Tempe does it up into Sun Devil Stadium. I would love to do it one day in person. But it will be so hot!! Wow, I always forget how hot it is down there.
As a person who was in the military at the time of the attack on the United States, I knew life was going to change the moment we had the TV in our classroom turned on and the teacher just stood there, his eyes so wide in disbelief and shock. All of us, stared at the TV, mouths hanging open, scared, shocked, nervous. There is no coming back from this. This is war. Open fucking declaration of war against my country! Holy fucking shit!!!! Can this be real is all we could collectively say to one another after the watching the second plane hit and then the towers going down. The TV was turned off. We watched it live. We saw people jumping from the buildings before the towers fell. It was horrifying. Each of us in class had only been in a few months, but, even only being still wet behind the ears, we knew shit just got real. And there was no laughing or joking or playing for a while.
My mom said to me at the end of that week, you join the military, there is always that possibility of going to war. I said I know, but, I wasn’t expecting it this week. I hadn’t expected it at all in fact. I thought I was going to join and life would be rosy and wonderful. I am grateful for the time I was in the Navy. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s brought me to be right here, right now. Mr. Tillman however, he never made it to right here, right now. Killed in action.
Let those words sink in for just a moment. Killed. Not coming back from that one. No more holiday dinner with the in-laws, or snuggles from his wife, or a hug from his mom telling him how much she loved him and how proud of him she was. There is no seeing his kids grow up because he and his wife didn’t have kids before he died. There are no walks in the park with his wife, and there are is no happy ending to this story. He’s gone and he left a mark on a lot of the community around him. In Action. He was actively engaged in combat when he died. In a gun fire hailstorm from an M-16. If you consider that he was a pretty big dude, it wouldn’t be hard to think that it would take a few rounds to take him down, but, wow. How scary for the end time. I know that he was an atheist and at his funeral, they made mention of how he felt. I think I liked that part of the story the best. He was realistic and I can admire in him for that.
I ran thinking of the sacrifice that those who served and died for us gave. The hopes and dreams never obtained, still hanging in the air. I think of the missed dinners, missed birthdays, missed hugs and I am reminded of those who I know who are gone now too. The ones that we served with and never made it home. I thought about the ones that are here still and how most of us have grown apart, but, we are never far from our hearts. It’s strange to see how life has taken our lives and given us so much, and at the same time, taken some so young. I was glad for the run today. And I’m glad it was a training run today. Helped to keep me much more focused on running than walking today.
I started to do my training runs again. I need to have some kind of routine and schedule, it keeps me going. Today I did my first training run in over a month. It was so nice to get out and push a little harder than usual to get it done. I was glad for the run. There was a 5 minute warm up and cool down and 4 ten minute runs with a one minute walk between them. And when I was done with the workout, I finished by just walking the rest of the way home. It was lovely. The morning sun was so bright and even now, as I sit under the window on the couch in the living room, I’m loving the feeling of the sunlight on my feet. Almost like a cat would be laying in the sunlight. I have taken my meds and will soon be heading upstairs to get working on small fry’s closet. But I feel good about the whole thing. I’m ready to go and get it done and then move on to my hats. I want to focus on that. I want to make it work. And I want to paint today. Somethings I haven’t done in so long. I feel like I need to. It’s the artist in me. I need to create something. I want to look at the beautiful colors and see the canvas come to life.. I have it all planned out too… I hope.
Anyhow, it’s time to get rolling… or taking another break and then breakfast and then get rolling… oh, I like that idea. Eggs it is for breakfast! Hooray!!! So, Mr. Pat Tillman, I thank you for your service. I am sorry for your family’s loss. I hope we may look at your example of love of country and follow in those same footsteps. For my fellow veterans, thank you for your service. It was an honor to serve by your side. ~
The Morning High Runner 